LIFE · LOVE

Right NOT Perfect

Yes. I am single and never been taken. I am not aiming to find for that “perfect guy”. I believe I don’t even have standards on my own. Only what I am looking for in a man is that he should have a right heart, right mind, above all right in Christ. A man who definitely seek God first and last in his lifetime is my ultimate prayer.

Maybe people would guess me as an idealistic. I don’t care about their thoughts though I care about them. Just one thing is important to me, being single is not a curse. Being preserved and reserved is actually a great blessing!

Families and friends always ask me, “Why are you still not dating?” or “Do you have plans in getting married?” Funny it is that they are the ones who has terrible concerns over my singleness. I don’t see a problem with it. I asked them in return, “Why in a hurry? Are we in a race?” It may sound sarcastic, but honestly why should I bother? If marriage is meant for me, then I will. But if not? Should I be afraid?

I don’t want to be an unchaste wife when that time comes that’s why I don’t get myself into rushing things just because my only (younger) sister already has her own family with two kids, or my younger cousins (well, I am the eldest in my generation among the clans of both my mom and dad) also have their own family, or my high school friends also have their own.

A friend told me having a partner or husband doesn’t give yourself wholeness. It doesn’t really complete a person. Sometimes, and I will quote again that sometimes they are the ones who shatters your being. But it doesn’t mean that I won’t get into married life because of such comments based on her life experience. Because another friend also said in a group discussion, people are being tested and in the process of sanctification if they are in a relationship especially in marriage.

I always believe that being in the season of singleness is a time to reflect oneself. A time to meditate, a time to explore and a time to prepare ourselves to become better for the future. And when we say future, it doesn’t just tell about the living we want to have but a life we need to be with. Taking one self slowly to whom we’d rather be.

A pastor once made an acronym meaning of SINGLE as “Satisfied Inwardly, Nurtured by God’s Love Everyday.” So if God’s Love is more than enough, then we could not ask for more.

Relationship, I believe, is a two-way communication. To be in a relationship is a progression to be slowly walked through in the right way, not a race on a humpy track!

If we, singles, want to date or get married, let’s first meditate, explore and prepare NOT perfectly but Righteously in depth or zenith moments. And most of all, we need to consider ourselves as pure and as white as snow, not by our own righteousness but by God’s righteousness in Christ Jesus!

I believe we need to see things clearly before getting into a relationship that lasts for a lifetime. First is we need to know who we are. Are we whole or wreck? If we are of the first, then let’s consider our hopes and dreams the second step. But if we are of the latter, we can still start a brand new selves if we have already been “blown out.” Trust me, it’s for real and forever! We still have a chance girls and guys, women and men, ladies and gentlemen. There is still hope behind “that” adversary.

Third (or might be the fourth), we need to build a right character. As Phillips Brooks said, “Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.” So to have a right character, we need to know, feel and do as we say, then make it a habit.

Last is to know our borders. Boundaries bring about freedom. Lacking of clear boundaries can lead to regrets, threats, and physical or emotional damages.

I am not making these statements because I am a perfect virgin wanting every people not to mess themselves too. I maybe, but am not. But as myself wishes to have my own future family, I also consider things. So before I get into it, first is I need to establish my wholeness in Christ, again! I have so many issues in life that I need to give up to Him. I need to be healed from any pain or hurt or rejection. I need to get back the joy that has again stolen from me from this peculiar world. And I need to forgive myself from any wrong things and decisions I have done in my life. Or I should say, Repentance is the key!

Second is that I need to pray over myself to be a woman of God everyday as His reflection of love and grace. To pray over myself to have that Godly character which I would also want to impart to my Future Kids. To pray over myself to be pure in heart, mind, body, soul and spirit which would be the greatest gift I could give to my Future Husband. And lastly, to pray over myself to become a blessing to the upcoming generations.

I believe this is the right thing to do while waiting for Mr. Right. To be a virtuous woman whom a man would want to have for the rest of his days. Only but by the will of God.

Blessings to all!

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